I have felt the heartbreak of goodbye too many times to count. It starts before I have a choice; moving from place to place at the emotional whim of a mother trying to find fulfillment in a place, to heal the soul wounds of decades.
With every introduction of a new teacher, the pungent smell of textbooks, the eyes of peers over the new girl with curly hair and contagious laugh, I hold my breath until the next time we load boxes with the yellow smiley face bank and Abba records.
Holding your breath in the wait of imminent goodbye keeps you in a fog. You can’t see the joy gift of the present while wondering how much time ticks on the alarm of change in a life of musical chairs.
When we said, “I do”, we joined hands to say goodbye. Eight times behind the moving van of fate full of picture frames to remember the orange trees hanging low in the back yard and the pool where they learn to swim. The twists of the manzanita, the snow on the mountain, the first time she rides a bike in the desert, and floats on frothy seas.
With each good bye, I inhale the ache of letting go and exhale hello to the push of risk, and brave new chapters. Because just beyond the holy goodbye is the promise of fulfillment in the hope of future. And I don’t want to miss that for staying stuck in the here and now.
Today I wave goodbye to their adolescence and trying to read the end of the story before living the middle. I woke up in the hello of today in all her silent glory. Thankful for the string of community in our wake of goodbyes that gives courage for the dawn of each new day.
You don’t get to know the time. Timing is the Father’s business. What you’ll get is the Holy Spirit. ~Acts 1:7, Message
What about you? What are you waving goodbye to, in order to say hello?
Joining Lisa-Jo at the Gypsy Mama for Five Minute Friday with the one word prompt: Goodbye.