A hollow hole whistles through my soul and I can’t imagine where it comes from. I’ve lain in the arms of accolades and warm graces, filled up with the applause of sunshine’s spotlight. Yet, in the filling, the space grows wider.
My stomach is full with laughter around a table laid with plenty. My mind rests satisfied in swirling conversation with my husband, the man who sees clear beyond the dust of others and loves deep.
Earlier, I sat across from consolation in a girlfriend of answered prayer. At a table of white linen, crunchy salad and smiling eyes.
My inbox fills with requests from bloggers and websites and magazines for words of story. Of comments, new followers, the undeserved kindness from strangers in tweets and in direct messages from the notable. I’ve experienced the heart full in a first video chat with a blogging friend.
All these things to satiate the soul, like answers of water for thirsty prayer. And with every glass of what should quench, I become a piece of parched desert soil, more guilt-ridden for feeling this way.
As I wake up to dawns earliest rising, the volume of His voice crescendos and I’m aware of this revelation:
The path to fulfillment isn’t in the number of comments or followers. It’s not in the affirmation of others, the number of requests in your inbox, or the number in your bank account. It doesn’t come from an eloquent sermon, being understood, or standing in the glow of appreciation. It doesn’t come from the place where you live, the place where you visit, the weather report, or the food around the table.
Fulfillment doesn’t come from what you do; it comes in the understanding of who you are. You’re my beloved. The hollowness of soul can only be satiated with my presence. And I’m right here.
Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
Linking with Lisa-Jo for Five Minute Friday with the one word prompt: Path