I woke up on my birthday knowing it would be different. The way you know pancakes and bacon sputter on the grill from your warm spot in bed.

Thoughts of close friends living in distant cities swirl dust halo over my dream fragments in early morning. For a brief moment, I close my eyes again, return to the smiles I sat next to in the nursery, laps full of flailing arms and tiny toes of weary. The girlfriends of shared lament during the no sleep stage, women I raised my hands next to in worship and cried with in prayer circles.

My heart aches to sit on the bench of belonging on this day in particular. To laugh with the ones who finish my sentences and order for me while I’m in the restroom. Instead, I rise to the day making peace with the seat of loneliness among strangers.

Will you join me at BibleDude.net today to finish the story? It’s my first official post at Living the Story and I would be honored to visit with you there in the comments. I’m telling the story of letting go on my birthday. Psst, it has a miraculous ending.

This is the fifth post in the series 31 Days of Letting Go. You can read the collective here. If you are a writer, I invite you to link up any post you’ve written on the theme of letting go in the comments here on Redemptions Beauty today. We’ll do this on Friday of each week so we can glean from your perspective. Subscribe to receive the series in your inbox or feed by adding your address in the side bar under Follow Redemptions Beauty.