My stomach sank when he said it. That we would be giving away our first paycheck, because it was a new job and God provided for us and aren’t we to give the first fruits as an act of thanksgiving? (Deut. 18:4)
We were newlyweds. Everything was new. Even this kind of faith.
While I knew all that to be true in theory, reality on the balance sheet said we couldn’t do it. We didn’t have enough money to pay for necessities. My body began to tremble with worry and the questions; they invaded like thieves on the hunt for loot.
Faith is blind and I grope in the dark for hope, to help me see.
I borrow his gift, unwrap the faith of my husband and try to wear it. It hangs off my shoulders, feels uncomfortably oversized but I wear it until faith fits me. Trust in giving away, when fear shouts, “bury your bag of gold while you have it. Hold on tight for a rainy day, for the just in case.”
I wonder about the parable of life isn’t fair. Why God gives some five bags of gold and a house in Malibu with a trust fund, while others wait tables, go to seminary and struggle to keep the lights on with one bag of gold. (Matt.25:14-30)
But this: When the man gives away talents to his servants, he isn’t concerned about the fairness of the amounts in the bags he entrusts to each one. Rather, what they will do to further them. Whether little or much.
My daughter, she is in first grade and He gives her paper, colored pencils and markers in her bag. She sits at her miniature table and chairs, creates bookmark masterpieces, loads them in her pink plastic purse, asks people to buy them.
She puts the money she collects in an envelope and gives it away to her school. Because she loves that school and wants to help when she learns, they struggle financially.
When she is ten, she travels to Rwanda, sees how the empty water bottle she throws in the trash at home is like a bag of gold for a parched child who needs to collect water. Running water comes from a rock on the side of hill, not from a faucet in a kitchen.
Two years later, she gives away all the money she saves for months to help children in Rwanda who need to go to school. All the money she saves for girly treasures. Insists on giving away the whole bag He entrusts to her, with joy.
Like the man returning to his servants after a long absence, I imagine this conversation between my girl and her Savior. She will exclaim with joy, “Look Jesus, look what I did with what you gave me,” and He will reply, “Well done my good and faithful servant. You have been faithful in handling this small amount, so now I will give you many more responsibillities. Lets celebrate together!”
What will you do with the bag of talents he entrusts to you?
Counting the Multitudes on Mondays with Ann. I hope you’re counting the gifts too! Just taking note of three gifts of thanks each day, 1000 gifts in 2012.
- For a husband who makes chicken wings for the Super Bowl in tandem with doing the laundry.
- For the way He always provides what we need, even in the midst of unbelief.
- Borrowed faith, when the heart quivers fear.
- Conversations with new and old friends through social networking.
- The gift of faith, yes this, that I see in my children.
- Pictures I never saw before. Ones that my girl took on her phone one day on the floor with Winston before we lost him.
- The way having a camera lying around helps us all see things differently, inspires a photo shoot of the perfect tomatoes lying on the counter.
- My boys glasses, the ones lost that we scour under cushions for months. We found them!