Why Love Idols Are Sneaky and Convincing

by | Apr 9, 2014 | Identity


“The sin underneath all our sins is to trust the lie of the serpent that we cannot trust the love and grace of Christ and must take matters into our own hands.” Jennifer Lee, Love Idol

Last Friday, I stood at gate A27, next to an empty bar stool with my carry-on bag leaning against my boots. Resting my chin on the back of my hand, elbow pressed into the steel counter at the LaGuardia airport, I traded swirling thoughts for mindlessly watching people while waiting to board my flight.

Depleted, I was looking for a glimmer of hope among the sea of humanity.  Instead, I felt like an inconspicuous dot on the map of life, wondering if perhaps I’d created a gerbil wheel of intention that spins futility.

It wasn’t until I got a message from my friends, Michelle and Jennifer, that I realized why I was in a funk. In the midst of their book launches, they noticed my voice missing among social networking chatter and reached out. I was undone and healed all in the same moment by their generosity of spirit.

Their empathetic response broke a sneaky shame cycle.  I was looking for approval through comparison and that mindset often leaves my identity slanting instead of standing upright.

When Jennifer Dukes Lee wrote Love Idol: Letting Go of Your Need For Approval and Seeing Yourself Through God’s Eyes, she penned the clear spot on the foggy bathroom mirror of our self-worth. She not only reminds us that we are preapproved by our Creator but she lives the message daily. In her usual glorious storytelling as a former journalist, this farmer’s wife and mother of two exposes how the need for approval became a lifelong idol holding her back. The book is like reading a personal message from a friend who puts her arms around your shoulders and says, “Me too, let’s lay down our idols and remember we are loved deeply.” I cannot recommend it highly enough.

I’m guest posting on Jennifer’s blog today revealing one of my #LoveIdols through the intersection of a movie, graffiti artist and going to church. Join me? And then buy Jennifer’s book here.

love idol

Subscribe for Shelly’s stories and free resources here: https://shellymillerwriter.com/free-resources/


  1. Rachel Britz

    Oh my, I understand these feelings all too well. Thank the Lord for encouraging friends to lift the head and heart! Hope you’re week is going better than expected!

  2. Natalie

    An inquiry into your life from a friend is an absolute balm for the soul. Hope all is well this week. Praying for you.

Pin It on Pinterest