Letting Go of “Supposed To” {Day 28}

by | Oct 28, 2013 | Uncategorized


“We all have gifts and talents. When we cultivate those gifts and share them with the world, we create a sense of meaning and purpose in our lives.” Brene Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection

I’m letting go of what is expected, what I’m supposed to do in this 31 Days series. I’m letting go of words on a blog post in order to cultivate meaningful work. I’ve enjoyed experiencing a collision of plentiful gifts, the palpable presence of God and my life’s work over the past four days at the Allume Conference. My mind is swirling like a spoon stirring a pot of soup, fishing for the best parts to scoop into your bowl. I hope you will join me tomorrow at the table for a taste of what I experienced. I like breaking bread with you.

rb31daysdeepbutton2Join us in the comments and for further discussion at Redemptions Beauty Book Club on The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown as we talk this week about Letting Go of Self-Doubt and “Supposed To” and Being Cool and “Always in Control” to cultivate meaningful work, laughter, song and dance. This is day 28 of 31 Days of Letting Go in the Deep End. Find out more here and join us for daily posts delivered to your inbox by adding your email address to Subscribe in the sidebar. It only takes a few seconds and it’s painless, I promise.


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  1. Lyli Dunbar

    This picture makes me happy. 🙂

    • Shelly Miller

      I know, me too Lyli.

  2. Jody Ohlsen Collins

    So, I see (l to r) Jennifer Lee, Emily Wierenga, Michelle deRusha, Lynn Morrissey (??) your lovely self and Laura Boggess……makes me feel like I was there, too! Cannot wait to hear what God has wrought.

    • Lynn Morrissey

      Hi Jody,
      Do I know you? You’re a good guesser! =]

    • Shelly Miller

      I have a lot to write about Jody. Lovely to see you here friend.

  3. Lynn Morrissey

    Oh my gosh, Shelly!!!! This is amazing! I’m able to get on your site! How serendipitious is this! I’m so jazzed. (I never say that, but I am!! 🙂 I don’t know why I haven’t been able to post here for weeks now, and nor could I at Floyd Samon’s blog, There Go I, but suddenly I can at his, and now at yours! Yes! My picture is missing here w/ my post, so this too must be some technological glitch. But I noticed all our radiant faces glowing above. I never pose without eye-liner, so you are lucky to have me pictured here! 🙂 I so look forward to discovering how you will offer your own transparent translation of what transpired at Allume (forgive me, but alliteration just oozes from my pores–I don’t plant it!). I know you will pique curiosity and create passion for your readers. Oh, how I wish every blogger on the planet could attend this conference. I don’t even blog, and my soup has not only been stirred, but it’s boiling over! I know that this conference was originally called Relevant and had to be changed (perhaps another organization had the name? I’m unsure, but I thought I had read something like that). I also know that “Allume” is the present tense of the French verb, “allumer.” It can be used when the French talk about switching on a light or lighting a fire or igniting something. So based on how flames were ignited and fanned this past weekend, the name is perfect. Shelly, I can tell that Allume has lit the fire under your soul-soup. I’m so thrilled for how God has blessed you personally at this conference, and how He has also lavished grace on our darling friends above: Jennifer, Emily, Michelle, and Laura. Thank you so much for introducing me to Emily and Laura. They’re stunning, as are Jennifer and Michelle. I must tell you that you authors have written some of the best work I’ve ever read; but not only does your talent amaze me in its quality and prolificness, but mostly, your lives amaze me by your faithfulness. You all are “Alluminated” for Jesus. (Make that “Awe-lluminated”!) If it were not 12:10 a.m. Central Time (1:10 in Greenville–I’m still on *their* time), I would continue. And on second thought, I really want to read about what God has stirred deep in your soul, and how you have been warmed and changed by it. Oh, and a shout-out to Deidra Riggs, too, because for me, and I’m sure others who had never attended Allume before, her Jumping Tandem Retreat lit a fire in us that spread to Allume. She surely is a torch-bearer. I love you all!!
    Oh, and speaking of Floyd earlier, here is his neat “Watermelon Seeds War” post. I really loved reading this. And note at the bottom of his post the link he gives for the poem I shared with him which inspired his post. It’s one of my favorites!

    • Lynn Morrissey

      Hmmm, Shelly, now the photo is working, too. Who knows?!

    • Shelly Miller

      I’m so glad you were there Lynn, what a wonderful time we all had. My aunt is a retired French/Spanish teacher and told me the same thing about the word Allume. Great minds . . .

  4. dukeslee


    Looking at your photo, I have feelings of “saudade.” It’s a Portuguese word, without a good English translation, that conveys this feeling of having a deep longing for someone who is far away.

    I’m so glad I had so many one-on-one, eyeball-to-eyeball moments with you, Shelly. You’re so dear to me.

    • Shelly Miller

      I feel the same way Jennifer, what a wonderful way to say it. Missing you all so much tonight. It was a wonderful memory we created, wasn’t it?

  5. Deidra

    I loved seeing all of you together that afternoon. What a great moment. And yay for letting go of what you’re supposed to do! Well done!

    • Shelly Miller

      You were missing in that photo darn it. I think you were talking to someone else before we took our walk. Love you and miss you lots.

  6. floyd

    Good for you, girls! That looks like the “Who’s Who” of the Christian blogging world! That is really cool… I’m happy for all of you. Our Father is honored.

    • Shelly Miller

      I’m happy you stopped by Floyd. Your name was mentioned in a few conversations by the way, when we were talking about the few men bloggers. Keep it up!

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