Dinner Conversations and the Smell of Cold

by | Nov 10, 2011 | Uncategorized

You can’t smell cold,” H says to the kids.  “Yes you can, you can smell it when it gets cold outside,” they rebuke.  And so the dinner conversation ensues.

I tell them how creative I think it is to say you can smell winter; the teenager insists we buy her the red Corvette that sits in a parking lot with the For Sale sign in the window.  This talk leads to H revealing a bit of dating history. How he dated a girl named Tammy who drives a Corvette and lives on top of a mountain with a view of Phoenix.

This hearing their Dad’s dating history evokes grins and giggles.

All the banter, in between scoops of pasta and salad, ends with a crescendo of H explaining how sometimes things happen in life that are out of our control and unjust.  “But nonetheless, God is in control,” he says with arms ejected over his head. 

Over warm bread slathered with butter, we talk about stuff.  The stuff of life that lies idle like pages on the heart waiting to be read aloud in a safe place.

And earlier on this day, when the sun still shines high overhead, I sit outside with a friend at a rod-iron umbrella table and talk about the stuff too. We hold chocolate mint lattes, breathe in the Fall air, look into the eyes and exchange listening and talking like a tennis match.

On most days, when the clock ticks noon, I cease striking the keys and staring at my computer screen to meet friends over coffee or lunch.  Some of these I meet for intentional coaching, others unintentional. 

No matter what the reason, I learn that despite age and circumstance of life, all women share these common struggles and longings of the heart:

  • Intermittent loneliness that feels overwhelming – despite being married with children or living alone.
  • The need for authentic community with peers.
  • The desire to have intimate friendships with women they can trust.
  • Lingering self-doubt in relationships (with God, spouse, children, friendships, etc.) and in making life choices for themselves and/or their children.
  • The uncertainty of life call and purpose.
  • And this lie:  Each woman thinks that she is the only one to experience these things, that everyone else has it all together.

I wonder if our thoughts about ourselves read like neon signs in Times Square stuck to the forehead for the world to see, would we be kinder, more understanding toward one another and less hard on ourselves? 

Because just knowing that someone struggles the same way we do makes life feel a little lighter.  Helps us breathe a little easier.

Maybe reading that list helps you breathe a bit easier today.

At the end of every conversation, whether looking in the eyes of my children or a friend, this summary:  We need a Savior because apart from Him, contentment and true happiness live far beyond our reach.

So tell me, what do you talk about over dinner at your house? Help us settle the debate and tell me, can you smell cold?

Subscribe for Shelly’s stories and free resources here: https://shellymillerwriter.com/free-resources/


  1. Diane Bailey

    Yes, you can smell cold, rain and heat! Our dinner conversation, was the conversation about, our conversation last night! I went to bed in awe of God’s ability to put two women together, who have never layed eyes on each other, yet have several points in common immediately! When I read your first blog, I heard my heart whisper, “friend”.

    • Redemption's Beauty

      Aw, thanks Diane. One of the greatest benefits of blogging are the new relationships that form with people I would’ve never met otherwise. God is amazing, isn’t He friend?

  2. Robin

    Just experienced smelling cold in Breckenridge, CO. Such a beautiful, refreshing smell. Could feel the smell of cold with every breath and loved it!

    • Redemption's Beauty

      Robin, this is the first time you commented on the blog!!! Thank you sweet friend. Love Breckenridge. I actually skiied there many moons ago. So glad you got to enjoy all that beauty. Tell Terry hello, was talking about him with a friend today.

  3. Paula

    Yes, you can smell cold ……..but I can also smell the chocolate dessert you photographed!!!

    • Redemption's Beauty

      I think H is getting outnumbered on the smelling cold! Murielle actually took all the photos on this post. She is becoming quite the photographer.

  4. LuAnn

    Well…last night’s dinner conversation will not surprise you, friend.
    “What exactly did you put in this, mom?”
    “Maybe you should follow the recipe next time.”
    “I think I might like it.”.
    “At least we have something to eat.”
    Can you smell cold? Well, something changes with my sense of smell when my nose hairs freeze so yes!

    • LuAnn

      Did you make that dessert?!

      • Redemption's Beauty

        No, we had that when we were in the revolving restaurant in Atlanta over Easter. It would’ve been even better if we hadn’t stuffed ouselves with all the yummy food before dessert. Thought it was beautiful. Murielle took the photos on this post.

    • Redemption's Beauty

      I read your comment while I was in the pick up line at school and I am sure the car in front of me must of heard me laughing out loud! You are so funny and I sure do miss you!

  5. misha leigh

    Hey Shelly,

    Thanks for your sweet comment. Lots going on right now. Sorry I haven’t been more in touch! I have been excited for seeing all your beautiful writing. It’s lovely. Lots of love to you.

    • Redemption's Beauty

      No worries my sweet friend. Let me know how I can pray for you. Think about you often. Love you lots!

  6. Pam@Writing...Apples of Gold

    Yes… I think you can “smell” snow in the air… 🙂 And like someone said about the scrumptious chocolate thing at top (oh my!!!), I can even smell the warm bread slathered with butter you talk about here. Ay yi yi yi… now you really have me drooling. 🙂 I love your longings list. So so true.

    • Redemption's Beauty

      This one was fun to write. And thanks for leaving the comments on older posts Pam. Sometimes I forget what I write and its like going back and looking at a scrapbook when they come back around.

      • Pam@Writing...Apples of Gold

        I’m the same way 🙂 … I keep meaning to copy my posts to a CD, in case they disappear one day into cyberspace…

Pin It on Pinterest