What Lies Beyond Loneliness

by | Oct 21, 2011 | Five Minute Friday

Today I join this writing community for Five Minute Friday with the prompt, Beyond.  Writing briefly from the overflow of the heart.

Just five minutes of writing.  No editing, no over-thinking, no back tracking.  This challenges me to walk in freedom.  I challenge you to do the same.  Cozy up in your own place and write for just five minutes.  In your journal, on a napkin, at your laptop right in front of you now.  Just. Write

Two weeks ago the lonely ache returns like the wind bringing winters chill.  And it freezes me into a ball on my bed, with hot tears streaming down the face asking this question once again.  Is this the price I pay to be a clergy wife that moves to a new city every few years:  Only friendships with women like water droplets on plastic, never to go below the surface?

I spill empty right there in that quiet room.  See how this is such a small sacrifice, this not having intimate friendships, when I think about the sacrifice He made for me.  I let go of what makes the heart ache and I didn’t realize it then, that this kind of dying is how we become full of joy.

Because in my dying to what I think I need, He fills with what satisfies.

And almost every day since the lonely cloud looms heavy, I accept an invitation to be in the company of friends old and new.  He lavishes love beyond expectation in the answer of invitation.

I accept each on like a guest at the wedding feast (Matthew 22:1-14).  On the beach pushing toes in sand; at the rod iron table under the umbrella at Starbucks; seated around a dining table with travellers; among the white linens overlooking the ocean; standing around a kitchen island; on a patio basking in sun’s warmth.


And I realize in each conversation, that the lonely cloud hangs its canopy over each of us.  The ache to receive understanding, share hearts in genuine authenticity and trust, and find acceptance.  Push away the empty calories and eat from the table that satisfies.  Savor each morsel from His banquet table.

Like an ambulance pulling up to a wreck, He gives love that fuels the flame of joy, almost snuffed out, and helps me see clear.

That this is the lesson of loneliness:  It takes you to places you wouldn’t have gone to see things you couldn’t see before. Beyond circumstance, into His loving arms of grace.



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  1. Cassi

    What a beautiful reminder that there is purpose in everything

    • Redemption's Beauty

      Thankful for that revelation. So glad you stopped by and left a comment Cassi.

  2. Leslie

    It’s interesting that you feel your friendships are distant when you share so intimately in your blog. (BTW: I’m loving The Gospel of Ruth. It’s so good. It’s helping me to understand how pain is used for our good, often in ways we can’t even see.)

    • Redemption's Beauty

      Maybe becasue they are distant, I can share intimately. My closest girlfriends are the ones I shared a long block of time with when we were having and raising babies. I realize it takes time to develop that kind of intimacy with a girlfriend. So glad you are enjoying that book, yay!!

  3. gunnymac1

    I hit the snooze again and try hard to think of a good reason not to move. Having put off the lab work that needs to be done, I just can’t think of another excuse. So I jump, shower, and run. BTW never forget to tell your husband you love him and to “be careful out there” . . . a lesson learned from a heart attack 6 years ago. It just seems that responsibility, duty always spur me on, not necessarily what I want to do but what I must do. Playfully I tell my family I’m tired of always being the ring leader, always being in charge. But who will take care of me? Sometimes I just want to be taken care of, quite a change from the life I chose so many years ago. And then I come to my senses and realize that I have had the best of both worlds. Life owes me nothing and on the whole I am quite satisfied with the twists and turns I have taken and continue to take each day. I fight the urge to sit still too long. I may have to twist and turn a different way tomorrow and I have to be limber.

    • Redemption's Beauty

      Thanks for your reflection here Susan. I definitely go through ebbs and flows between sadness and joy. He always brings me back, helps me see clear in the midst of the muddied thinking. For that I am grateful.

  4. Rebecca Knox

    Over the years I have known many pw’s who have expressed similar feelings of despair of not having intimate friendships. I would like to send every one of them a copy of today’s post as you have so beautifully noted the way our Lord can and does turn that pain and loneliness into joy unspeakable if we will only allow it. God’s blessings upon you, Sweet Sister!

    • Redemption's Beauty

      Yes, it is something only a pw can understand . . this kind of lonely feeling. I hope the revelation I received, this way He spoke to me, will be a comfort to your friend today. Just knowing you understand and want to help her brings me joy! Your comment encourages me, so glad you stopped by. Come back!

  5. christine

    it must be a difficult job to have, to have to hold it together all the time, and to be an ear for others, and to hear so much too without letting it affect your emotions too much, thank you for your honesty

    • Redemption's Beauty

      Sometimes yes. But most importantly I have learned to be myself, not the role. And he gives grace, an immense amount of grace for this journey. Thanks for stopping by. Please come by again.

  6. eileen

    “Because in my dying to what I think I need, He fills with what satisfies.” So true! Great post.

  7. Deidra

    Okay. We seriously need to meet. 🙂

    • Redemption's Beauty

      Yes, yes we do. Have felt that way ever since I started following you. So wish I had a spot at Relevant so we could sit and chat. Maybe next time. God will orchestrate our meeting I am sure!

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